And when it happens, it can be sometimes hard to swallow. Like learning little things about yourself that is a bit uncomfortable. Now it doesn’t have to be the drama-life-altering-kind of revelation. Oh no. In my opinion, it’s all the teeny, tiny revelations that can pile up into one big aha moment.
I took myself out to a country bar in Katy, TX , called MO’s Place. It’s a little early, only 9pm. But if I stayed in the hotel room any longer I would have just crawled into bed and called it a night. Which I tend to do – a lot. But sometimes I think it’s important to remember I’m single and it’s Saturday night and I need to get out once in awhile.
But it’s tougher here since I don’t have any going-out-kinda-friends and I’m not exactly comfortable walking into a bar in Houston on my own. I know – the revelation has me confused too.
I’m a seasoned traveler. I’ve stepped into foreign pubs, Vegas night clubs, and hole in the wall gems without much thought. And here I am triple thinking my decision to come out to listen to some live music and watch dancers circle the floor at a popular country bar.
There’s something different from visiting a place to knowing that I now live here. I’m a little more cautious. It’s as if I’m skirting around the edges of the city, dipping a toe into its waters, uncertain which way the tide is flowing. Is it safe? Am I doing the right thing? It’s a dangerous city (don’t watch the news here!). I’m alone. I’m always alone.
But the night is young. I step into the cavernous dance hall, pay the cover and find a seat at the end of the bar near the stage. I’m sipping a club soda, watching the place fill up with pretty young things in sparkling jeans and preening young men in cowboy hats. The mating rituals have begun. It makes me smile. I feel extremely ancient.
I can do this. The knot in my stomach won’t relax.
The band is about to start. An hour. I’ll give myself an hour.
A man asks me to dance. It’s a simple two step.
It’s time to adult.
Let’s do this.